Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Failure, Tragedy and Those Special People that Make a Difference

I have a confession to make. I made a commitment to start writing at least a couple of times a month and I have failed. I failed because every time I have come here to write...I read the last post I wrote to my Mother on Mother's Day last year and have become lost in the words and the emotions again and again. I was beginning to wonder if I was ever going to get past the writers block that has stifled me. Then tragedy stepped in.

I met a new friend a month ago. She is in a new business I just got involved with. Her and her husband took time to meet up with me while on one of their trips to share ideas, knowledge and do some training with me....and it was just like meeting up with an old friend you haven't seen in awhile. You know what I mean there are some people you are just drawn to and everybody else around them is as well. She reminded me of my Mother in so many ways. Last night we got word that while doing a presentation my new friend had collapsed from an aneurism. She has had surgery and is in the hospital surrounded by family and friends whose lives she has touched. We are all praying for a complete recovery.

Then this morning my neighbor came over to let me know her Mother had passed away at the hospital suring the night. I met their family when I was 5 years old and we moved in next door. My new friends and my old friends have both been touched by tragedy.

Here we are just before Mother's Day with two families lives being touched in ways we would not want to imagine. Coming together to pray, to love, to comfort, to share our faith...and one family to grieve. This has given me a REASON to write. It has given me a REASON to reach out to everyone and remind you to say I Love You to those you love, say I am Sorry and Forgive Me. Tell people they are Important to you, that they are Special, that they Make a Difference, that you couldn't have done it without them.

In life there are no guarantees... and sometimes no second chances to say what is in our hearts. Even though I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my Mother knew how important she was to me, how much I loved her and that I truly appreciated having her as my mentor and to be able to follow in her footsteps... I wish I could have told her over and over and over again everything that I had wrote in the blog that I posted in tribute to her last year. I know because that is what I have been doing all year... reading the tribute to the woman that had touched my life in so many ways. Whispering the words to the Mother that had helped to shape me into the woman that I am today. Crying out to the mentor who INSPIRED ME, who taught me to DREAM, to BELIEVE, and that Can't Never Could and told me and actually helped me to believe I Could Make a Difference in This World because she sure made a DIFFERENCE IN MINE.

And now here I am writing again...sharing a little piece of my life with each and everyone of you HOPING and PRAYING that Mother was right and we can Make a DIFFERENCE.

Blessings my Friends,
Jacki Smith

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Happy Mother's Day Super Woman

This Mother's Day I spent time with my daughter Nicole. We went shopping this weekend and had lunch together. Later this evening while talking to a girlfriend I started thinking about my Mother. She passed away Sept. 14, 1996 so it has been a long time since I have had a mother-daughter talk.

One thing I need to make clear here I was raised by Super Woman. To say my Mom was multi-talented is an under statement. Here is a short list of some of her many talents.
  • The Most Honery child that her 9 brothers & sisters ever should hear the stories about the spiders and grasshoppers
  • Owner and chef at her own restaurant
  • Pastry Chef
  • Rebuilt an engine in her car...more than once
  • Owned and managed several Automotive Paint & Body Repair Shops
  • Office Manager at a Funeral Home
  • Make-up artist for dead people
  • Record Holding Race Car Driver
  • Strong Christian
  • Gifted writer
  • Wrote Gospel and Country Western Songs (One C&W song was recorded)
  • Played the guitar and sang - you missed some great get togethers
  • Certified Tax Accountant
  • Owner Spurs & Spirits - Home of The Killer Burger
  • Owner The Diet Shoppe - probably because of all those Killer Burgers
  • Successful Network Marketer & Top 10 Money Earner - taught me everything she knew
  • Breast & bone cancer fighter
  • Daughter, Sister, Wife, Mom, Aunt, Step-mom, Meme (Grandma) & Great Grandma
  • My best friend
  • My Mentor
  • Teacher...Taught all her kids we could do ANYTHING! She had all the answers.
  • Super Woman...I could see the cape even if no one else could

The problem is I don't want to be Super Woman. I don't want to lose myself to trying to be all things and I don't want to know all the answers.

I have done a great many things already in this life. The most important being a mom to two awesome children that have become wonderful well-rounded adults.

What I want to be is a friend people can call on, someone to lean on, a shoulder to cry on. A coach as well as cheerleader for those that need it. A leader that my Mom would be proud of, she did teach me. I want to make a difference in this person at a time. I want to inspire people that need help believing and I want my Mother to know that not only do I Love and Miss My Best Friend....I want to Thank her for bringing me up the way she did. I could not be who I am today if it weren't for you.

I Love You Mom. Happy Mothers Day!


Thursday, January 7, 2010

Getting Past The Good, The Bad and The Ugly In Life

Someone asked me today about my profile. It says I am a Health Coach and that I learned the full body approach to healing. Their question was "What is the full body approach to healing?" Below is my response.

I have learned to factor in the mind, body and spirit connection. When I first started working with clients including my early work with my Mother, I did not realize how big an impact stress, anger, pain, divorce, death, illness, etc. factored in to a person and their disease. I had to learn how to help with all aspects of the person including being able to help them to get past all the things bringing pain to them, causing anger, stressing them. I started to minister to them. My goal is to help them achieve a level of balance that will be condusive to healing. The Letting Go And Letting God deal with it approach really works.

Many of my clients, within 1 year to 5 years before their diagnosis experienced a parent or loved one dieing or having to care for them, a divorce, or a major illness. Studies show that the stress from these type of events can lead to diseases including cancer and in my group of clients it holds true.

One of the biggest lessons I learned early on was to let people tell me everything about their condition...I call this The Good, The Bad and The Ugly and it spans every doctors diagnosis and usually includes a dead date where some doctor has told them they have 3mths, 6mths, 1year, etc. to live. When they are done I simply ask them...."So what do you think? (pause)... Are you ready to die in ____mths/yrs?... Do you have a purpose?... Are there things you still want to do?... After many, many pauses and much thought I usually hear them say they want to live, they decide they have a purpose and start talking about what or whom is important to them, they decide it is time to start living every day instead of dieing every day.

Those moments I believe are the reason I have worked with thousands of clients over the last 13 years and will continue to do this for as long as I am able. They inspire me.

What inspires you?

Blessings to you,
Jacki Smith

Monday, January 4, 2010

The Gift He Gave To Me - My Tribute to Jim Rohn

Jim Rohn passed away on December 5th, 2009. One of my favorite quotes he made is below as well as an article that I had saved. He has had a significant effect on my life and it will continue for as long as I live.

I pray that you find many leaders and mentors throughout your lifetime that touch your life the way he did mine.

“Get around people who have something of value to share with you. Their impact will continue to have a significant effect on your life long after they have departed”
Jim Rohn: Entrepreneur, author, and motivational speaker

My Mother and I went to a Jim Rohn Conference in Dallas a few years before she died. While there they provided us with a handout that had a survey on it for us to fill out. We both filled it out and then I forgot about them.

After my Mother died I was going through some boxes of paperwork of hers and I found her survey. One of the questions asked "What was the Greatest Moment you have experienced in your life?" My Mother answered "Watching my little brother Michael be ordained as a minister." Wow! I knew my uncle would be honored to know that. He had even officiated at her funeral....probably one of the hardest things he has been asked to do.

Further down there was a question "If you could change anything about your life, what would you change?" My Mother answered "I would take better care of myself." My Mother could have made a conscious effort to make a change that day...but she didn't. She continued on the same path and in a few years was fighting cancer, not just once but twice. It was when they found the cancer had metastisized that she decided to make changes.

I got a call that day while at work. Mom said they had just discovered the breast cancer had spread to her bones and it was in 8 different places including her spine. They had given her a year to live and she wasn't ready to die and she asked for my help with her battle. I quit my job that day. Little did I know my life would change forever with that phone call. I was involved in Network Marketing part-time so I got busy and I built it to a full-time income over the next few months while learning all I could to help my Mom.

I worked with Mom for 3 1/2 years fighting cancer using the doctors standard protocol as well as diet and supplements. Some days she stuck to her diet. Some days she didn't. Every day there was stress. We had victories and we had defeats. It was the best and worst days for me. Best in that I was able to be there for my Mother and she lived for 3 1/2 years. Worst in the fact that I could not make choices for her. So when she ate wrong, got stressed, got bad reports....I could not change it. I had to learn to give it to God. I had to learn to support her choices and do all I could on those days that she would allow it. I learned each and every day I was with her. Those lessons have served thousands as I became a Health Coach after Mom died. I have volunteered my time to thousands of people fighting all different types of health challenges since then.

And after she died while reading that survey and remembering all the good times we were able to spend together, including that day with Jim Rohn, I read her answer and I made the answer my own. "I Choose to to Take Better Care of Myself.... Today, Tomorrow and each and every day in the future."

"If you could change anything about yourself...what would you change?"

The Best Gift to Give Yourself and Others by Jim Rohn

I’m often asked the question, “How can I best help my children, spouse, family member, staff member, friend, etc., improve/change?” In fact, that might be the most frequently asked question I receive, “How can I help change someone else?”

My answer often comes as a surprise and here it is. The key to helping others is to help yourself first. In other words, the best contribution I can make to someone else is my own personal development. If I become 10 times wiser, 10 times stronger, think of what that will do for my adventure as a father... as a grandfather... as a business colleague.

The best gift I can give to you, really, is my ongoing personal development. Getting better, getting stronger, becoming wiser. I think parents should pick this valuable philosophy up. If the parents are okay, the kids have an excellent chance of being okay. Work on your personal development as parents—that’s the best gift you can give to your children.

If you have ever ridden in an airplane, then you might have noticed the oxygen compartment located above every seat. There are explicit instructions that say, “In case of an emergency, first secure your own oxygen mask and then if you have children with you secure their masks.” Take care of yourself first... then assist your children. If we use that same philosophy throughout our whole parental life, it would be so valuable.

If I learn to create happiness for myself, my children now have an excellent chance to be happy. If I create a unique lifestyle for myself and my spouse, that will be a great example to serve my children.

Self-development enables you to serve, to be more valuable to those around you; for your child... your business... your colleague... your community... your church.

That’s why I teach development skills. If you keep refining all the parts of your character (yourself, your health, etc.) so that you become an attractive person to the marketplace, you’ll attract opportunity. Opportunity will then begin to seek you out. Your reputation will begin to precede you and people will want to do business with you. All of that possibility is created by working on the philosophy that success is something you attract by continually working on your own personal development.

To Your Success,
Jacki Smith
Be A Mentor With A Servant's Heart

Thursday, March 5, 2009

A Lesson In Forgiving

Phyl, Doug and I were wrapped up in conversation on the phone the other day when the topic turned to forgiving. Doug admitted that he could not forgive the medical profession after the death of his loved one. I shared that I had a difficult time forgiving my father for the way he had treated my mother while she was ill, and it became even more difficult after she died.

I shared with them that I had turned to a minister friend for help with forgiving my dad. He advised me that I needed to find one good quality about my dad, even if it was "he ties his shoes correctly" and then say it over and over again until pretty soon I would be able to say it without having a lump in my throat. Then over time it would get easier and easier to find more good qualities about him, thus replacing the bad memories and feelings with positive ones.

Of course I am programmed a little different than most I have been told. So with that being said, the next day when I called my minister friend to share the good news that I had already found one good thing that I could say about my father, he was impressed. I then announced "that my father was an excellent sperm donor....since he had made me and my sister". At this point the minister giggled and said he thought I had a ways to go but to keep trying.

Then Doug shared an experience he had had back when he was working the 12 step program with Alcoholics Anonymous. He used to mouth off quite a bit and one day at the AA meeting he was talking about this guy that had ticked him off and Doug had said he ought to just shoot him. One of the guys at the meeting said Go ahead. Doug stated he didn't want to go to jail. Then the other guy said You know what you need to do? You need to get down on your knees and pray for him. Doug told him Why would I do that, I wouldn't mean it. The other guy told him Say the prayer anyway. Then tell God you don't mean it.... but you want to.

If you feel compelled to join us....Doug and I will be on our knees each night praying. We may not mean it now....but we want to.